Thursday, November 10, 2005

Kansas State Board of Education Supports Alien Abduction Theory

Subject To Be Taught In High School Physics Class
Elliot Rosewater Reporting
(Kansas City, KS NCJ News) The Kansas Sate Board of Education has advocated the teaching of the Alien Abduction Theory in their high school physics curriculum. Citing the number of true believers as a "darn good enough" reason, the state plans to add it to the Fall 2006 classes.
In addition, the board rewrote the definition of science, so that it is no longer limited to the search for natural explanations of phenomena.
Plans are also underway to include leprechauns, the Easter Bunny, and Bigfoot in the state mandated science program.
"We are being very brave. We are brave enough to have all areas discussed," said board member Kathy Martin, a Clay Center Republican. "Students will be informed and not indoctrinated."
Mrs. Martin also added, "Some things are just too complex to explain without some divine intervention. Things like multiplication tables and long division. We're seeking alternatives, we're saying we just can't know. After all, isn't that what education is all about?"
If you have a supernatural event that you would like to see researched, contact the Kansas State Board of Education.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Microsoft Slashes Health Care Costs

Is Your Daughter a Drunken Slut? Take the Test
The high cost of therapy has prompted Microsoft to slash health care costs and seek more traditional methods of treating mental illness within their employees. Bill Gates has eliminated the high cost of therapy and has decided that if a worker has a problem they should just ask Ask Some Damn Fool rather than seeking expensive medical treatment. The advice may not be good, but it is free. Ask Some Fool is just another free service offered by NeoCon News.


Thursday, November 03, 2005

Rumsfeld, Roche, BirdFlu, Tamiflu

D.O.D. to Mandate Flu Shots
NCJ News has learned that Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, is a major stockholder in Gilead Sciences, the patent holder of the Tamiflu Vaccine. See what the D.O.D. is doing to secure your insecurity. Tamaflu hoax exposed...
US: Roche Bails Out for Top Army Job Amid Scandal
by Esther Schrader, Los Angeles Times
March 11th, 2004
WASHINGTON - Air Force Secretary James G. Roche, whose nomination to head the Army had been stalled in Congress since summer over a controversial $27-billion deal with Boeing Co. and an Air Force Academy sexual assault scandal, withdrew his name Wednesday from consideration for the post.
The 23-year Navy veteran and former Northrop Grumman Corp. official had been handpicked by Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld to take the Army's top civilian position, but his nomination languished in the Senate Armed Services Committee -- primarily because of resistance by Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), who criticized as improper and wasteful the costly air tanker leasing arrangement with Boeing that Roche had supported.
Read the whole story
RUMSFELD'S FREE DRUG TEST

Monkey Trial Moves to Indiana, State House Monkeys on Trial

Yes Virginia there is a Santa Clause. Indiana Lawmakers are advocating mandatory Sun Worship by high school Astronomy students. Amidst pressing education disasters, some Indiana Legislatures have offered a unique approach. See what they are doing with Intelligent Design in the Classroom

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Internet Free Speech Threatened

Free speech with regards to political commentary is coming under increased scrutiny and federal regulation if certain lawmakers get their way. See how they want to further erode your First Amendment Rights.

Monday, October 31, 2005

The President Owes No Apology


No Harm, No Foul
An Editorial By Asa Breed
We elected President Bush to do a job. He's doing his job as well as we can expect. One bad apple does not require making apple sauce of the whole administration. I say back off Democrats. Read the whole Editorial in the Nov 1 edition of Neo Con News.

Wolfowitz Paper Exposed


Paul Wolfowitz and more
Asa Breed Reporting
(Chevy Chase, MD., NCJ News) What's Paul Wolfowitz been up to lately? Find out by reading the Wolfowitz Final Solution. We've got O'Reilly, Ann Coulter, Representative Bill McCollum (R-FL ); Find out here what Leading Conservatives Say about the crime of Perjury. Stay tuned to this late breaking story. NCJ News has just learned that Mario Vasquez has quit American Idol competition. I guess he quit in March, Karl's grapevive has dried up so we had to hear it from Paula Abdul. See Karl Rove off the Record; Andrew Card is reported to have seen a UFO, or was ir just a Really Bad Santa, for more information click the Late Breaking News Link to the left. Samual Alito has declined our request for an interview and Mr.Cheney has refused to return phone calls relating to classified information and unclassified documents. Want to see W's IQ? Check out: You heard it here first All these stories, plus Britney Spears, should be available later today. This just in: Libby Speaks Out plus FOX News Reaction
Want to see the latest and most comprehensive study on Global Terrorism? Then read the Robert Pape Interview. A must read for neocons and non-neocons alike.
Also: Ashley Simpson, Tina Faye, Derrick Jeeter, Indonesia and more. We are in the process of obtaining a satellite interview with Gerard Depardieu as soon as we pass the Bermuda Triangle, the signal should come back online. Kate Moss just went below for some much needed refreshments and hopefully we can get this all logged before the Thanksgiving deadline. Tomorrow's edition includes the capture of Coumbian drug kingpin John Eidelber Cano by American trained Special Forces. Click on the Late Breaking News link or click on

  • Late Breaking News


  • Sunday, October 30, 2005

    Inside the White House Aide Selection Process

    Have you ever wondered how George Bush selects his top aides? Think you've got what it takes? If you're considering a job as a top political operative, then Chief of Staff Selection Process is a MUST READ.

    Friday, October 28, 2005

    Thanks for Responding

    Welcome to NeoCon News and Editorials,
    We're looking for writers. We're developing the most creative network of comedy writers on the WEB. We need jokes, short news stories (real, exaggerated, or fictional). commentary, editorials, oddball takes and just about anything. History of Nuerortic Behavior, or Chronic Mental Illness helpful but not rquired. We have no political slant and anything goes except obscenities, racism, and reprehensible material. If you just can't do it without cussin', our editor will help you out.
    Pieces should subscribe to our Internet Philosophy: Short, cutting edge and to the point. Surfers are not going to spend more than 30 seconds staring at a story about your kids' Halloween experience. The net was designed to be fast paced, up-to-the-minute, short attention span activity. Writing should be simple, intuitive and uncluttered. Our guideline is 400 words, beyond that it gets a little long. Don't worry, our editor will be glad to trim it away.
    We operate 3 sites currently. Neo Con News and Editorials, Neo Con-Job News, and Neo Fun Cafe. All under the guise of NCJ News. Don't let the NeoCon thing throw you, we were born with that name and it kinda stuck. Surf around em and see what we do. We presently have a staff of 3. Myself, Asa, and Kilgore. We post new material every day as we believe nobody wants leftover humor.
    What do you get out of it? Well, not very much. We give you credit for the story, a link to your site at the head of the story and again at the end of the story. Your links stay on the story as long as it stays posted which is about forever. Also you get permission to use anything on any of our sites by posting the same credit.
    We don't encourage stealing material, but if it is lifted, let us know and where it came from. We often use the byline "Reprinted without permission from www.xxx.com". We keep hoping for a copyright infringement suit to get us some notoriety.
    If you're still interested, leave a comment, click the mail thing or figure out how to reach us. . Well this is 300+ words, hope to read from you soon. Elliot Rosewater.
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